電腦白痴

一個 WordPerfect 電腦公司員工的真實對話

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
Ridge Hall 電腦公司你好!我可以為您服務嗎?,

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
是的,我有WordPerfect的問題。

"What sort of trouble?"
您有什麼問題呢 ?

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
我剛剛自已在打字的時候,突然間所有的字都不見了。

"Went away?"
都不見了。

"They disappeared."
它們都不見了。

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
嗯,現在你的螢幕看到什麼東西？

"Nothing."
沒有任何東西。

"Nothing?"
沒有任何東西？

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
螢幕是全黑的,我打的字它都沒反應。

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
您是否還在?作WordPerfect,還是以經離開了。

"How do I tell?"
我要怎麼說明呢？

"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"
你可以在螢幕上看到 C:\ 的提示符號嗎？

"What's a sea-prompt?"
什麼是 "海的提示符號" ("sea"=海,和 "C"同音)

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
不管它了,你可以看到游標在螢幕上嗎？

"There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything
Itype."
螢幕上沒有任何的游標,我告訴你,我打的字它都沒反應。

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
顯示器上的電源指示燈有沒有亮？

"What's a monitor?"
什麼是顯示器？

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does
it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
就是那個看起像電視的螢幕,有沒有一個小光點告訴你它是開著的？

"I don't know."
我不懂耶。

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
那麼,你能不能看得到顯示器後面有一條電源線接在上面？

"....Yes, I think so."
是,我想我看到了。

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall."
太棒了,沿著電線找下去,看它有沒有沒插在牆上？

"....Yes, it is."
有啊!

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
你到顯示器後面看看,有沒有注意到有兩條電線插在後面,不是只有一條哦？

"No."
沒有。

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
就是了,我要你再到顯示器後面去找另一條電線。

"....Okay, here it is."
OK,找到了。

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer."
再替我找下去,告訴我它有沒有確實插好在電腦後面。

"I can't reach."
我搆不到。

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
嗯,那麼,你看得到嗎？

"No."
看不到。

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
那麼拿個東西墊高,爬過去看一下？

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because
it's dark."
喔,不是角度不好看不到,而是太暗了。

"Dark?"
太暗？

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming from the window."
是的,辨公室的燈光全都不亮,唯一的光線是來自窗戶外面。

"Well, turn on the office light then."
那麼把辨公室的電燈都打開啊。

"I can't."
我沒辨法!

"No? Why not?"
沒辨法？為什麼？

"Because there's a power outage."
因為停電啊!

"A power...... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?"
停...停電？,喔!OK,現在開始打包,電腦公司員工送電腦來時的
包裝箱和使用手冊都還在嗎？

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
嗯,是的,我已把它們收在櫃子裏。

"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
from."
很好!去把它們拿出來,然後把電腦搬下來包裝好,就像剛送來的時候一樣。
然後看你在那裏買的,把它送回去。

"Really? Is it that bad?"
真的嗎？是它壞掉了嗎？

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
是的,恐怕是這樣了的。

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
喔,我想大概就是這樣子的。那我要怎樣跟他們說呢？

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
就告訴他們說:『你實在笨到不夠資格擁有一部電腦』。

來源:http://sagit.idv.tw/articles/18.htm

真好笑! 名符其實的電腦白癡